What people have said about us

 

"you certainly made it very lively"

 

"The Top 10 Values - allowing you to see yourself in such a structured manner"

 

"Well described examples of organisational approaches to core values"

  • Tara Bennet Goleman

    Just as diamond is coal transformed, so clear awareness can arise from our confusion.

  • Ayn Rand, Novelist, 1905 - 1982

    Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of ones values

  • Norman Thomas, 1864 - 1968

    The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values

  • Albert Camus, 1913 - 1960

    If, after all, men cannot always make history have meaning, they can always act so their own lives have one.

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Aspects of Love

This post is a companion to a 5 minute talk given by Jackie at  Ignite Liverpool in January 2016 which is available on You Tube

Love is a many-splendored thing wrote poet Francis Thompson: all you need is love sang John Lennon: whilst puzzled Piglet asked Pooh “how do you spell love?” to which Pooh replied “you don’t spell it you feel it”.

Q. Is that all there is to love – a ‘feeling’?

A. This is one of those times of year when great attention is brought to bear upon love and in the run up to Valentine’s Day it is clear that love can be many things.

Love is big business: estimates of consumer spending on celebrating February 14th  

suggest that in the UK around £1.9 billion will be sucked into the romantic vortex joined by something like $18.6 billion from the US.

Love is risky: get your Valentine’s Day investment wrong and there can be significant penalties. Survey data from some lawyers suggests that divorce petitions rise by 40% at this point in the year – I have seen this referred to as the ‘waiting to exhale’ group….. couples who were deeply unhappy over Christmas but decided to treat Feb 14th as the last chance for their spouse.

Love is ultimately, surely, about connection. Something in the person that is me or you finds a harmony with something else that is glorious, we might even say intoxicating.

Q. Is there any science to romantic love?

A. To my mind the explosion in online dating sites would have us believe so, the kind of science that can be coded into a single algorithm that crystallises our personality.

Let’s consider love from a human biology perspective. In the past you may have heard, or even said, the ‘chemistry was all wrong’. When we have a ‘feeling’ there are chemicals involved and different chemicals have different effects. Suppose romantic love generally has three stages Cupids Chemicals are these :

  • Lust

This is about finding a great genetic match to produce the next generation here we are talking testosterone and oestrogen – the triggers tend to be scent and symmetry

  • Love Struck

Desire is still present but now we can become obsessed with everything about the ‘other’ talking deep into the night with no thought for food, water or sleep – now adrenalin makes our heart race, serotonin drives compulsive behaviour and dopamine which can become addictive

  • Loving Attachment

Now we are into the long haul and oxytocin, also called the ‘cuddle chemical’, is key to cementing the bond and vasopressin keeps our desire alive.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

Steve Jobs

 

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”

Maya Angelou

 

We love things that interest us – cue dopamine kicking in – and excite us – creating that adrenaline rush. So for me this is where it gets really interesting.

Different people are interested in and excited by different things. So there is a very personal connection between who I think I am and the things that interest and excite a person like me. These connections are emotional, sitting in the limbic system of our brain which is part of the unconscious. Many people have a clear sense of what interests and excites them but when asked ‘why’ will struggle to answer.

Not knowing ‘why’ isn’t a problem. However, not knowing ‘why’, does limit our opportunity to deliberately create more of those good things in our future. The answer to ‘why’ lies in our unique personal pattern of priority values. Like our emotions our values reside in the limbic brain and draw upon them unconsciously. We use our values daily to make decisions, to make sense of events and to provide us with a sense of meaning.

“Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one’s own values in the person of another”

Ayn Rand

Q. What makes our hearts sing?

A. Investing our time and attention in relationships, adventures, activities and dreams that are meaningful to us.

Q. What makes your heart sing? Maybe now is the time to discover………

The Diamond Hidden Within Us


diamond2

 

Diamonds. Strongest, hardest, and the most highly prized crystal to be found anywhere.

Diamonds and the Magma Effect™. A dynamic relationship exists between diamonds and magma